Home Couples & Family Psychology Child / Adolescent LOVE LINGERS HERE: INTIMATE ENDURING RELATIONSHIPS XVII. PLATE FOUR: CREATING A LEGACY (RAISING CHILDREN OR CONDUCTING PROJECTS)

LOVE LINGERS HERE: INTIMATE ENDURING RELATIONSHIPS XVII. PLATE FOUR: CREATING A LEGACY (RAISING CHILDREN OR CONDUCTING PROJECTS)

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They have found ways in which to overcome their differences in taste regarding their home, but the process was not easy. As Larry notes:

. . . two architects together with different tastes can be a problem. . . . Well, the house kept us moving forward. It preoccupied all of our time. It fell during the renovation. It was a major disaster. We had to get another contractor to fix the problem. It was a lot of work and was very stressful. I became extremely focused. Harold was all over the place.

Harold acknowledged that Larry was much more competent than he at this point of the renovation process. Whereas Larry usually is the cautious member of the pair, at this moment he became much more “adventurous” with their money:

We had bills coming in for thousands of dollars. Harold panicked. We needed to stay focused and that is my forte’. It was a time when we couldn’t afford to lose sight of our goal and therefore had to pay attention to the survival of our project. It’s this that has kept us together through difficult times.

Harold reflected on this shift in Larry’s attitude about money and concluded that “we learned a lot . . . Larry taught me that life isn’t worth living, if you don’t take risks.” However, Harold, not Larry, was able to obtain the assistance of friends during this difficult period. While Larry remained focused on the home, Harold reached out to other people.

Larry and Harold have been successful in building their joint project (home and lifestyle) largely because they have been able to honor and make use of their individual differences. Larry is the “financial caretaker,” “the designated driver,” “the vacation planner.” Conversely, Harold is the “navigator, cook, buys groceries and cleans.” Harold is also the “spokesman and the social planner.” Larry is more “assertive,” whereas Harold is “the more verbal one.” They move eloquently together, allowing each other to take the lead at various points in their relationship, particularly with reference to their prized goal: a beautiful home.

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