Issues regarding this plate often become prevalent again later in the life of a couple, if the couple has significantly shifted their living arrangements. This is the case, for instance, when two partners have decided to work in two different cities or when they must disrupt their regular patterns of daily living because of the intrusion of another development plate, such as the birth of a baby, one or both partners re-entering the work force, children leaving home, or the start or end of a major project in which both partners participate. Peggy and David, for instance, went through some soul searching about their candlelight dinners after their children left home with just the two of them, would the dinners still be special?
While it would have been easy to fall into a pattern of hurried meals and even separate meals, given their busy schedule as a dual career couple, David and Peggy decided to keep intact, despite occasional lapses this part of their relationship in when both of them are particularly harried. In retrospect, David and Peggy recognize that these dinners made an important statement about the important of sharing a few celebrative minutes together each day as a couple. During earlier years, these dinners symbolized Peggy’s inclusion in David’s family. In continuing this tradition, David and Peggy repeatedly honor their relationship.
In establishing their home, a couple may not actually have selected a specific place (apartment, house, room in parent’s home) where they will live. A “home” can be as much a state of mind as a physical location. In the case of couples during wartime, for instance, a relationship may have barely been established when one or both partners are given an overseas assignment. In these instances, a “home” can be established by means of letters, phone calls, emails, tweets or other rituals (e.g. keeping a picture of the loved one in one’s pocket). For David and Peggy, a shared “home” was established for both of them (arid David’s children) through the symbol of the candle, lit at the point that David and his children were not only eating dinner, but also talking with Peggy by phone.
