We are inclined to be attracted to someone who fills a psychological gap that we cannot ourselves fill. Yet, partners begin to learn from each other later in their relationship, and reclaim aspects of themselves that they have disowned or left dormant for many years.
Love Lingers Here: Intimate Enduring Relationships–VII. The Marker Event: Establishing a Commitment as a Couple
The defining moment in the life of a couple is critical as a way of defining an orienting difference.
The first myth that we are likely to embrace when we are looking for and establishing an intimate relationship concerns the sense of a “new self”.
The first couple’s first meeting was so beautiful and so romantic! With such a start, what can possibly go wrong? …
I base my analysis of enduring relationships on a fundamental assumption: a couple is a living, dynamic entity that is something more than just two people living together.
We must look at the history of relationships in our contemporary societies and, more specifically, on the dominant personal and collective myths we cling to about intimacy and enduring relationships.